Psychologist & Coach

“Stop talking about the organisation and focus instead on the individual“

We should focus foremost on the new hire rather than the company. When we take care of our employees, the rest of the organisation follows and grows. However, how can we give their particular needs to them? How can we prepare structured Pre & Onboarding journeys according to their emotions and according to how they are feeling?

We had the opportunity to discuss this matter with an organisational professional, the psychologist Brad Desmond, who explained to us how new employees feel during their journey into a new company. This includes anxiety, self-doubt, stress, and low self-confidence. A mountain of difficult emotions. And according to Brad: “There’s a lot that HR can do in that space”. Let’s make it happen! First, let’s listen and learn from Brad Desmond. He is a psychologist and coach, and recently published a book called “The Matilda Principle”.

Pre & Onboarding Insights

New employees are going to be anxious, going to have anxiety, a lot of self-doubts and imposter syndrome.

—Brad Desmond, Psychologist and Coach.

How does a new hire feel when s/he starts a new job?

Most of the people will experience with the imposter syndrome, in most people, particularly at senior levels. This means they have a lot of self-doubt. “I’m not really good enough for this job.” And that intensifies when you’re brand new because you don’t know the job yet.

You don’t know if you’re going to meet the expectations. Are you going to be good enough? Will you be accepted by the people? Will you fit into the culture? So all of these self-doubts are playing on the mind of someone who is relatively new.

The self-doubt and the anxiety will continue for some months and it takes about six months to adjust to that. And some people will never fully achieve a position of self-confidence.

How can an employee be confident?

When a person feels confident and I’m not talking ego, or narcissism, but genuine self-confidence, this is based on knowing their strengths. So the question I have is what are your strengths as an individual? What strengths do you bring to this role? What are your past achievements?

What things were you recruited for? What do you bring to this team? People should be encouraged to have an awareness, and to take ownership of their particular strengths and to know how these traits will be relevant to their new job. We should all always take a strength-based perspective, and encourage an awareness and application of these individual strengths to their role.”

Can new employees feel confident from the first day on the job and how can HR help them to be confident and establish good self-esteem?

I think HR can do a lot, but the individual probably not as much. If I’m brand new in a new job, there’s not much I can do to be confident, or to show how I fit in. I don’t understand the culture yet. I don’t understand the requirements of the team yet. I don’t really know what my role looks like yet and I’m still finding my way.

Stephen Covey wrote a book called ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’. One of these seven habits mentioned is that you should seek to understand first, and then seek to be understood.

So it’s not about me being confident in the first instance, but about me listening and learning the landscape first.

HR and management have a big role in bringing out my confidence. It shouldn’t be driven by me as an individual. It should be driven by the organisation to bring out my best. There’s a lot that HR can do in that space.

How can we ensure highly engaged employees from the start?

Dan Cable, lead author of a study, did an analysis at Wipro, a large IT company. This was a study with hundreds of employees. They made a distinction between two groups. First group went through traditional onboarding, where the focal point was all about the organisation, learning about the organisation, the organisation’s policies and procedures, and what the role is all about. It’s all focused on the organisation.

Then, they had a second group. This group was focused on the individuals. “Let’s talk about you. What are the strengths that you brought to this job? What are your best moments in your previous jobs and how can we bring out your best in this job?”. It’s all focused on the individual. And when they made that distinction, the new employees in the second group did far better.

They become more loyal. They stay in their roles longer. They had better customer satisfaction ratings, and they were more highly approved by their managers. So there were lots of benefits, all down the line.

Individual team leaders and individual managers can do a lot. It’s about having a regular meeting with the new hires once a day or once every second day for the first couple of weeks. Let’s talk about you. Let’s talk about what you bring. “Let’s talk about the talents that you bring to this team”. And when you introduce the new person around, you introduce them celebrating their past achievements and what they bring to their new role and how they can add value to the team rather than just talking about the team itself.

 My advice to onboarding programmes is to stop talking about the organisation and focus instead on the individual and celebrate the individual and what they bring, and what their strengths are.

There’s good evidence that it has better outcomes.

What is the profile of a good onboarding buddy?

I recommend a person-centered approach. Match the new hires with someone who has a similar personality. So the extroverted person is matched with an extroverted buddy. It’s important that they have things in common, then it becomes easier to connect.

Start by understanding the personality of the individual. Then you match it. So it’s not about the buddy, it’s about picking the right buddy for the individual.

How does emotional intelligence work in leadership?

Emotional intelligence is really just about recognising that employees are not machines. Machines are easy. You just program them. And if they don’t break down, they do what you want. But in the real world, it doesn’t work like that. You can’t just order people around. You can lose good staff if you treat people like that.

People have emotions. So it’s about making people feel valued. It’s about coaching people’s performance. It’s about offering the right support. It’s about understanding the strengths that people bring to the role and making people feel that they have a role here.

They have a place in this team so treating people in such a way brings out their best, which is not something you need to do with machines. So that’s the difference. It’s emotional intelligence. Human beings, for better or worse, are emotional creatures. And smart leaders understand that.

How can new employees gain emotional intelligence during their Pre & Onboarding journey?

The first thing is to understand that when people first start, they’re going to be very stressed. They don’t know what the expectations are going to be. So there’s a loss of control. So, I recommend to new hires to lower your expectations. Just try to learn what’s expected.

When you start to think: “Oh, I’m feeling stressed, I’m out of my comfort zone, I can’t do this”, and all of that negative self-talk begins, my advice is to anticipate that and don’t react to it. It’s expected. It’s okay. You’re going to get through it and it’s going to get better.

How can employees manage at-work relationships that provoke them to feel unwell?

We need to remember that about that 12-14% of the population have a personality disorder. That means they are very difficult people, and I have two rules in dealing with them. The first rule is they don’t change. They’ve been like this for a long time. It’s not your fault. They’re not going to change.

The second rule is to learn the first rule because we forget it. We get frustrated and wish they would change. We think… “Why? Why do they pick on me? Why do they always manipulate me? Why do they always intimidate me?” If you understand  that they’re never going to change, then you drop those questions – Why are they doing it? Why do they keep doing it? They do it because that’s who they are. And it’s not your fault.

You have to find a way of managing the situation and coping with the situation. And you won’t do that while you’re still caught up in why they’re doing it. How can I make them change? How can I please them? It’s not going to happen. Of course, these are the most difficult examples. Truly, negative people are only about 12 or 14% of the population.

How can new employees detect stress?

The early warning, the canary in the cage is sleep. Sleep usually suffers first. If you normally get 8 hours of sleep, and you notice that you’re not sleeping so well these days, then something is wrong in your waking life. Something is wrong when your sleep suffers.

Another good indication is caffeine, alcohol, and tobacco (if you’re a smoker), and saturated fats, sugar, and junk food. Your relationship with those things changes. If you’re someone who drinks alcohol, suddenly you’re drinking more. If you smoke, you’re smoking more.

Everyone’s early warning is a bit different. So the individual needs to know what it is. What changes would I see different in you if you were suddenly under a lot of stress? Everyone should know the answer to that question.

How can new employees prevent this stress?

There are three broad parts to the answer; bio, psycho and social. Biologically how are you treating yourself? Good food, good sleep, good exercise? Psychologically, how are you looking at yourself? Practice remaining optimistic, and not blaming yourself for things that are outside your control?

In your social environment, do you spend more time with people who want the best for you, or are the negative people in your life? So look at the bio-psycho-social realms. We exist in the world in those three ways at the same time.

How is your biological life going? How would your psychological life going and how is your social environment going? You’ve got these three gardens and you need to tend to them or they get overgrown and messy.

How can employees build resilience against stress and burnout: PERMA

I recommend the PERMA model by Martin Seligman (positive psychology):

Positive emotions. Practice gratitude exercises every day and you would lift your positive emotions.

Engagement. Know your strengths and use them on a regular basis.

Relationships. Surround yourself with positive people and invest in good relationships.

Meaning and purpose. Have a sense that you do work that has a sense of calling and you’re making a difference. Seek out work that matters to you.

Achievement. What are your goals and what progress are you making towards the goals that matter to you?